A while back, while out with some besties, the usual guard I have up around myself slipped a little. I got giggly and thoughtful and talkative, and one friend commented on how much they liked that side of me. 

It was meant as a compliment, but in a flash, I could feel my entire Self going through an automatic shutdown.

It was like someone turned off all the lights inside of me and I was suddenly sitting in the dark. 

When I was a kid and got into those excited, talkative moods, there was inevitably someone around who would roll their eyes in my direction and sarcastically remark,

“Ahh, there she goes again! Who put the quarter in?”

I learned to keep my excitement, ideas, my thoughts to myself. I questioned myself a lot, and over time shut down a lot of my creativity. 

Because honestly, who really cared about what I had to say?

I spent years becoming an expert people pleaser, making sure everyone was happy, and mastering the art of politely agreeing with everyone so that no one could ever get mad at me, ever. 

I let people use my ideas and content for free, I stayed quiet when they took credit for my work, and suffered debilitating bouts of insecurity fueled anxiety. 

A few days ago, a friend walked into my office and plunked down a little jar full of quarters, saying, "I want talkative Fally."

That gift is the stuff of legends. 

Because that gift is of the stuff that gives us permission to be legendary. 

For years while battling my fears, doubts, shame, and insecurity, I did it alone, in secret, in the recesses of my own dark mind. 

I pushed hard against my limits and waged daily wars with the critic in my head, and won a battle or two. 

But every day it was the same battleground. Again and again. 

Until someone gave me permission. 

It’s not that I needed it.

You’d be amazed at how far one can get, even while riddled with anxiety and shame. (You’d never believe how many high level executives, therapists, educators, entrepreneurs I speak to who live that nightmare I used to.)

I never needed the permission. But my heart positively began to thaw when I had the right people supporting me, believing in me, cheering me on, and feeding me those quarters. 

This is why I bring Ayeh to the world. 

It’s not just about the work we get to do together. The work of getting out of our own heads, and back in flow with the movement of life. 

It’s about who we do the work with. 

It’s about the women who show up in that space with love, courage, support, and trust. At Ayeh we’re about creating a container of love and safety where women who never needed permission to be legendary, finally have a village cheering them on. 

There are two Ayeh events happening this month. 

July 17, Pomona, NY 

This one is for women aged 25+. This is a full, intensive day, but newbies are welcome. This might be your third workshop or your first, you're in for an amazing time.

July 30, Toms River, NJ

This one day event is an advanced breathwork experience happening underwater. This event is for women aged 25+ who have breathed in person with me at least twice before. 

I can't promise you all jars of quarters, but I trust deeply that each participant will walk out with the kind of change that matters. 

The change that comes from being seen, supported and encouraged by others who want to see you be the person you always had permission to be. 

In friendship and change (quarters are my favorite kind), 

Fally