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Learn to love the in betweens.

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It Was(n't)

ayeh breathwork full yes! plans Jul 31, 2024

You want to know how Ayeh Immersive Breathwork went! 

It went according to plan. 

But not my plan, Kindred. 

Because let’s face it. I’m not the one in charge. 

(I’d very much like to have coffee with the One who is, but I hope He reads these emails.)

I waited all year for this breathwork event and have been dreaming about it for months. It’s a sacred, powerful, life changing experience, and I feel honored and privileged that I get to participate in running something this incredible and literally plan it ages in advance. 

There are welcome bags sitting on my dining room table for weeks…(Shoutout to my son for patiently putting them all together. - He didn’t think I would really mention him here, but he totally deserves the accolades!)

There’s a water breath playlist I have been compiling since last summer. (I don’t like using playlists twice.)

There are snorkels and pool floaties in boxes in my office. (Yes, that’s how we breathe underwater…. With snorkels, not magic!)

Meditation scripts and my staff all ready to roll. 

And then the clouds came in and the weather forecast said rain and some of my staff had personal stuff cropping up and needed to cancel and participants backed out last minute and something about the whole thing just started feeling off, and I didn’t know how hard to push to make it work or pray to make it not rain and I was getting lost in a confusion that was not at all a match for the special container the workshop was intended to be. 

I checked in with mentors and friends and took some time out to breathe into my own feelings around potentially having to cancel or reschedule Tuesday. 

And I felt…. Nothing. 

Which was so weird. 

But also eye opening. 

I was expecting to feel disappointed. I was expecting to feel sad. But I felt nothing. 

I’ve learned a long time ago, nothing is always something. 

Nothing might be numbness. 

It might be a cover for all the other things we don’t want to feel. 

But it aint nothing. 

I sat with the nothing over the weekend. 

And realized. 

I didn’t want to go into this event feeling nothing. 

Because Immersive Breathwork is sacred and life changing and powerful and meaningful. 

When we experienced underwater breathwork during our QuintEssence Facilitator training* in May, we all emerged from the water completely transformed. 

Six hours running the women’s and men’s sessions back to back was brutal but worth every moment. I had the unutterable privilege of witnessing glowing faces and shining eyes as we joked about coming back in a week for their brissim and cried together with the release of all we chose to leave behind.

The experience was otherworldly.

I rewatched the QuintEssence class recordings post immersive breathwork and nostalgia kicked in hard. We were exhausted, giddy, glowing and struggling to find words. We didn’t need any. We were feeling it all. 

Feeling nothing around having to possibly cancel yesterday’s event was a red flag. 

Because this event deserved so much more. 

So when the weather played games with us (40% chance of rain that dropped to 20% chance of storms) I knew I had to go with my gut. 

The gut that felt nothing. 

So I followed the plan. 

Not my plan. 

But a Higher plan nonetheless. 

I emailed all the participants to let them know we’d be rescheduling the event for a time when all the details lined up for a resounding YES. 

This decision was hard. 

But it used to be harder. 

I used to be so afraid of disappointing people, that I was never aware of how much I’d been letting myself down in the process. 

And I used to push so hard to keep every commitment I made.

And worked against the laws of nature, gravity, and even time to deliver no matter what. 

I stuck with plans that had long expired, because I was so afraid of what would happen if I let some of it go. 

But that’s not the mindset that was going to work for Immersive Breathwork.

Because breathwork is an exercise in letting go. 

Floating face down, in the pool, trusting your partner to support you through the most vulnerable and precious of experiences requires a level of surrender that I didn’t have years ago. 

And every time I think I’ve finally figured it out, the Universe thinks it might be interesting to test me on it again. 

Just to see how well I’ve really integrated the lesson. 

Some of the participants had asked if we could un-cancel the event. 

Because an hour after we canceled, the 20% chance of storms mysteriously transformed to clear, sunny skies 

But mysteriously, I was no longer feeling nothing. 

I was feeling really okay. At peace. Breathing easy. 

It was good to feel. 

And nothing turned into knowing. 

Trusting. 

That the event I was planning had even bigger plans for me and the participants. 

And I’m excited to see what emerges. 

I’m debating between two rescheduling dates. Both in Toms River (no, I can’t/won’t run this event anywhere else this year). Monday, August 19 or Tuesday, September 17

If this event is still on your radar, reach out and let me know if any of those dates work better for you. I’d love to accommodate. 

And another thing. 

As I made the decision to cancel yesterday’s event, five people reached out wanting to sign up at the last minute. 

And I realized that’s not the energy I’m looking to experience in my world. 

I'm a full YES kind of girl. 

And I like working with people who are ALL IN. 

So when I reschedule, ticket sales will close one week before the workshop.

Nothing is always something, 

But if it’s a YES, you’ll know. 

Fally

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*Our training cohort is incredible! 20+ dedicated Breathwork facilitators about to be changing your worlds! I am having so much fun teaching and collaborating with them all. I may never want to give them up.

** It's awesome to see how many of you expressed interest in upcoming trainings.! We have Hypnotherapy happening this winter and Breathwork again next spring. 

*** I get a lot of requests for private sessions. I know a bunch of you are new here and may not know that I don't offer private work at this time. 

**** I also get a lot of inquiries from men asking if I have any events or courses available for them to join. I do. Stay tuned. 

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