Literally. 

And it’s not going amazing. 

We’re potty training right now. And when I say we, I mean me.

Because parenting is never just about being a parent. It’s about growing with our children, learning new things as they do, and reaching milestones no one will ever celebrate or even acknowledge, but still surreptitiously somehow amount to something. 

So what does a weekend sitting on the bathroom floor with Deeds amount to?

I’m not 100% sure yet. 

But it’s been bringing me back to the last time a kid in this home was toilet trained. A whole decade ago. Using hypnosis. 

Sounds like a good story, right?

It was. 

In fact, it happened by accident.* 

I was receiving a hypnosis session from a practitioner, and at some point, unrelated to the focus of the session, my then toddler appeared in my mind with a message. 

He was long haired, standing in his crib, and earnestly trying to tell me why he refused to be potty trained. 

He said it was because he wanted hugs. Lots of them. And he noticed that I didn’t hug the big kids as much as I hugged him. So he had decided he didn’t want to become a big kid. And that’s why he had no plans to become toilet trained. 

This whole conversation took place in my head of course. (Generally fascinating place to be, just saying.)

The facilitator asked if I wanted to respond to what he shared, and (in my head) I reached into the crib, hugged him to my chest, and promised him I’d smother him with hugs until he was old enough to find me an embarrassment, and reassured him that potty training wasn’t going to get in the way of that. 

That business* concluded, the session then continued along the lines of what I was working through, and I totally forgot about the little detour my brain had taken with my kid. 

Until two days later. When he came home from playgroup and announced he was done with diapers and toilet trained himself within hours. 

I was shook. 

Somehow, whatever message I had received and sent in that hypnotherapy session, had found its mark. And the seamless potty training was proof.*

So why not hypnotize Deeds into the same state?

Because I’m not sure that’s the point. 

The point is presence. All of hypnotherapy is a form of presencing to the truths that already live within, and the ability and courage to live by those. 

And so I’m not going to hypnotize my child into growing up (yet). I’m going to spend the next few days sitting on the bathroom tiles singing nursery songs and telling stories about soup pots and reassuring him that we can grow into this transition together. 

He’s scared of becoming a big boy.... and I’m a little scared of my baby growing up too. 

He’s also excited to start something new.... I’m excited to see where we go from here. 

Like my friend Devori says, “Space and permission for both.”

Space and permission for all.

Applications for Hypnotherapy training close Friday (before chatzos!). 

It’s go time. 

Fally

* Not that kind of accident. Sorry, potty training week has me one track minded.)

* Not that kind of business.

* It's ten years later, this kid still eats hugs for breakfast, dinner, and midnight snacks.   

* It's been two years since I last offered this training. I run them based on interest and my availability. If you've been considering joining for a while, this might be the only opportunity for some time. 

 * Waiting for Ignite registration to open? Mark your calendars for the first day of Chanukah! Ignite has a limited sign up window, and you want to be sure you get in on time! Course begins Motzei Shabbos, Jan 11.